Patients Say the Darndest Things – Happy Doctor’s Day!

In celebration of Doctor’s Day, we asked a few of our physicians what’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

Dr. Mary Jane Piroutek

Dr. Mary Jane Piroutek, emergency medicine specialist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A:  Kids say funny things all the time. One of my favorites was a little 4 -year-old girl who had ingested coins and they were stuck in her esophagus. When I asked her what happened she shrugged her shoulder and with a mischievous look in her eyes said, “I ate the money, I’m not supposed to eat the money.”  Also recently a patient told me I looked like Snow White (which I don’t) and she called me Dr. Snow White the whole time I took care of her.

 

Dr. Gary Goodman

Dr. Gary Goodman, medical director, pediatric intensive care unit, CHOC Children’s at Mission Hospital

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: Just recently, I had a patient, who has a mild developmental delay, call me “the boy.”  I would stop in the patient’s room each morning, at which point I’d get asked, “What do YOU want?”

 

Dr. Kenneth Kwon

Dr. Kenneth Kwon, emergency medicine specialist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: An adage in pediatric emergency care is when a child comes in with a nosebleed, you don’t ask if he picks his nose, you ask him which finger he uses. When I asked this question to one of my pint-sized patients, he answered that he used all of them, and then proceeded to demonstrate by sticking each of his 10 fingers in his nose individually. It was priceless.

 

Dr. Maryam Gholizadeh

Dr. Maryam Gholizadeh, general and thoracic surgeon

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: There was a young child around 8-9 years old and we were going to remove his appendix with laparoscopy. I was standing on his left side because with laparoscopy we make our incision on the left side. Just before he went to sleep he looked up at me and said, “Why are you standing on my left? My appendix is on the right.” I was amazed at how knowledgeable this kid was!

 

Dr. Jennifer Ho

Dr. Jennifer Ho, hospitalist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: “I want to be a doctor like you … but only for unicorns and fairies.”

 

Dr. Andrew Mower

Dr. Andrew Mower, neurologist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: “I don’t eat apples, doctor.”

“Why?”

“Because they keep the doctor away, and I like you, Dr. Mower.”

 

Dr. Laura Totaro

Dr. Laura Totaro, hospitalist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: I was examining the mouth of my patient when he proudly showed me his loose tooth and whispered to me that his family had a secret. He then excitedly admitted that his mom was the tooth fairy!  His mother looked at me quizzically and then burst out laughing when she realized what had taken place. Earlier she had admitted to him that she played the role of tooth fairy at home but her son took this quite literally and believed it to actually be her secret full time job for all children.

 

Dr. Mustafa Kabeer

Dr. Mustafa Kabeer, general and thoracic surgeon

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: A patient asked me what my first name was, and I told him it was Mustafa. He then promptly told me that was the name of his pet lizard!

 

Dr. Sharief Taraman

Dr. Sharief Taraman, neurology

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: One of my patients told me that I look like the character Flint Lockwood from Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs and another one thinks I look like the character Linguini from the movie Ratatouille, both of which I found very funny.  Apparently, I give off the nerdy guy vibe.

Meet Dr. Jennifer Ho

CHOC Children’s wants its referring physicians to get to know its specialists. Today, meet Dr. Jennifer Ho, a pediatric hospitalist.

Dr. Jennifer Ho

Q: What is your education and training?
A: UC Irvine School of Medicine, class of 2007. CHOC Children’s pediatric residency, class of 2010.

Q: What are your administrative appointments?
CHOC Children’s at Mission Hospital Medical Staff Executive Committee member-at-large; member of the Medical Staff Performance Committee at CHOC at Mission.

Q: What are your special clinical interests?
Care of the hospitalized pediatric patient, infectious diseases, evidence-based medicine and optimization of the electronic health record.

Q: How long have you been on staff at CHOC?
A: Six years

Q: What are some new programs or developments within your specialty?
A: I am excited that the field of pediatric hospital medicine is growing and will soon be a nationally board-certified recognized specialty.

Q: What are your most common diagnoses?
A: Asthma, bronchiolitis, dehydration and seizures

Q: What would you most like community/referring providers to know about you/your division at CHOC?
A: We now provide 24/7 attending coverage in the hospital at both CHOC Children’s Hospital and CHOC at Mission to ensure the highest quality of care for Orange County children. We pride ourselves on communication and are always available to help facilitate transition of care.

Q:  What inspires you most about the care being delivered here at CHOC?
A: As a mother of two young children, it is very comforting to know that if they ever need medical care, CHOC provides the highest quality of care in a family-friendly environment.

Q: Why did you decide to become a doctor?

A: I decided to become a doctor when I was diagnosed with a heart problem in high school. I thought the human body was fascinating and I wanted to be able to help patients through their problems and get the most out of life.

Q: If you weren’t a physician, what would you be and why?
A: I would own a used bookstore with an attached coffee shop and spend my days reading old books and drinking coffee.

Q: What are your hobbies/interests outside of work?
A: Being a mommy to my two little kids, being outside, reading and playing volleyball.

Q: What was the funniest thing a patient told you?
A: From a 3-year-old girl: “I want to be a doctor like you … but only for unicorns and fairies.”