Patients Say the Darndest Things – Happy Doctor’s Day!

In celebration of Doctor’s Day, we asked a few of our physicians what’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

Dr. Mary Jane Piroutek

Dr. Mary Jane Piroutek, emergency medicine specialist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A:  Kids say funny things all the time. One of my favorites was a little 4 -year-old girl who had ingested coins and they were stuck in her esophagus. When I asked her what happened she shrugged her shoulder and with a mischievous look in her eyes said, “I ate the money, I’m not supposed to eat the money.”  Also recently a patient told me I looked like Snow White (which I don’t) and she called me Dr. Snow White the whole time I took care of her.

 

Dr. Gary Goodman

Dr. Gary Goodman, medical director, pediatric intensive care unit, CHOC Children’s at Mission Hospital

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: Just recently, I had a patient, who has a mild developmental delay, call me “the boy.”  I would stop in the patient’s room each morning, at which point I’d get asked, “What do YOU want?”

 

Dr. Kenneth Kwon

Dr. Kenneth Kwon, emergency medicine specialist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: An adage in pediatric emergency care is when a child comes in with a nosebleed, you don’t ask if he picks his nose, you ask him which finger he uses. When I asked this question to one of my pint-sized patients, he answered that he used all of them, and then proceeded to demonstrate by sticking each of his 10 fingers in his nose individually. It was priceless.

 

Dr. Maryam Gholizadeh

Dr. Maryam Gholizadeh, general and thoracic surgeon

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: There was a young child around 8-9 years old and we were going to remove his appendix with laparoscopy. I was standing on his left side because with laparoscopy we make our incision on the left side. Just before he went to sleep he looked up at me and said, “Why are you standing on my left? My appendix is on the right.” I was amazed at how knowledgeable this kid was!

 

Dr. Jennifer Ho

Dr. Jennifer Ho, hospitalist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: “I want to be a doctor like you … but only for unicorns and fairies.”

 

Dr. Andrew Mower

Dr. Andrew Mower, neurologist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: “I don’t eat apples, doctor.”

“Why?”

“Because they keep the doctor away, and I like you, Dr. Mower.”

 

Dr. Laura Totaro

Dr. Laura Totaro, hospitalist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: I was examining the mouth of my patient when he proudly showed me his loose tooth and whispered to me that his family had a secret. He then excitedly admitted that his mom was the tooth fairy!  His mother looked at me quizzically and then burst out laughing when she realized what had taken place. Earlier she had admitted to him that she played the role of tooth fairy at home but her son took this quite literally and believed it to actually be her secret full time job for all children.

 

Dr. Mustafa Kabeer

Dr. Mustafa Kabeer, general and thoracic surgeon

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: A patient asked me what my first name was, and I told him it was Mustafa. He then promptly told me that was the name of his pet lizard!

 

Dr. Sharief Taraman

Dr. Sharief Taraman, neurology

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: One of my patients told me that I look like the character Flint Lockwood from Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs and another one thinks I look like the character Linguini from the movie Ratatouille, both of which I found very funny.  Apparently, I give off the nerdy guy vibe.

Meet Dr. Laura Totaro

CHOC Children’s wants its referring physicians to get to know its specialists. Today, meet Dr. Laura Totaro, a pediatric hospitalist at CHOC Children’s at Mission Hospital.

Dr. Laura Totaro

Q: What is your education and training?

A: I attended Loma Linda University Medical School and graduated in 2011. I then became part of the first UC Irvine/CHOC Children’s pediatric residency class and graduated from the program in 2014. I was board-certified in Pediatrics in 2014.

Q: What are your administrative appointments?

A: I am the hospitalist representative for both the CHOC Children’s at Mission Hospital Intensive Care Committee and the CHOC Children’s Infection Prevention Committee.

Q: What are your special clinical interests?

A: I am most interested in infectious disease and autoimmune disorders.

Q: How long have you been on staff at CHOC?

A: Two years.

Q: What are your most common diagnoses?

A: Seizures, asthma, bronchiolitis, pneumonia, and gastroenteritis/dehydration.

Q: What would you most like community/referring providers to know about you or your division at CHOC?

A: In an effort to better facilitate transfer of care, we now offer 24/7 hospitalist coverage at both CHOC campuses.

Q:  What inspires you most about the care being delivered here at CHOC?

A: The CHOC community provides a unique focus on healthcare for kids that goes beyond just the basics. The entire care team including the doctors, nurses and additional staff who strive to provide personalized care that not only treats a physical illness but also addresses the needs of the entire family. I am inspired by the culture of physicians and nurses that are constantly learning and trying to provide the best care they possibly can. It is such a pleasure to work in a place where everyone seems to truly enjoy their job and are trying to find ways to be even better at them.

Q: Why did you decide to become a doctor?

A: I grew up in a healthcare-focused community where I was exposed to medicine from a young age. I was inspired by the doctors around me and was fascinated by the human body. I also wanted a career that would allow me to help others here in my immediate community and abroad.

Q: If you weren’t a physician, what would you be and why?

A: I would run a travel blog and be a food critic.

Q: What are your hobbies/interests outside of work?

A: Travel, exploring new restaurants, art, and music.

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: I was examining the mouth of my patient when he proudly showed me his loose tooth and whispered to me that his family had a secret. He then excitedly admitted that his mom was the tooth fairy!  His mother looked at me quizzically and then burst out laughing when she realized what had taken place. Earlier she had admitted to him that she played the role of tooth fairy at home but her son took this quite literally and believed it to actually be her secret full time job for all children.