Patients Say the Darndest Things – Happy Doctor’s Day!

In celebration of Doctor’s Day, we asked a few of our physicians what’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

Dr. Mary Jane Piroutek

Dr. Mary Jane Piroutek, emergency medicine specialist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A:  Kids say funny things all the time. One of my favorites was a little 4 -year-old girl who had ingested coins and they were stuck in her esophagus. When I asked her what happened she shrugged her shoulder and with a mischievous look in her eyes said, “I ate the money, I’m not supposed to eat the money.”  Also recently a patient told me I looked like Snow White (which I don’t) and she called me Dr. Snow White the whole time I took care of her.

 

Dr. Gary Goodman

Dr. Gary Goodman, medical director, pediatric intensive care unit, CHOC Children’s at Mission Hospital

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: Just recently, I had a patient, who has a mild developmental delay, call me “the boy.”  I would stop in the patient’s room each morning, at which point I’d get asked, “What do YOU want?”

 

Dr. Kenneth Kwon

Dr. Kenneth Kwon, emergency medicine specialist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: An adage in pediatric emergency care is when a child comes in with a nosebleed, you don’t ask if he picks his nose, you ask him which finger he uses. When I asked this question to one of my pint-sized patients, he answered that he used all of them, and then proceeded to demonstrate by sticking each of his 10 fingers in his nose individually. It was priceless.

 

Dr. Maryam Gholizadeh

Dr. Maryam Gholizadeh, general and thoracic surgeon

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: There was a young child around 8-9 years old and we were going to remove his appendix with laparoscopy. I was standing on his left side because with laparoscopy we make our incision on the left side. Just before he went to sleep he looked up at me and said, “Why are you standing on my left? My appendix is on the right.” I was amazed at how knowledgeable this kid was!

 

Dr. Jennifer Ho

Dr. Jennifer Ho, hospitalist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: “I want to be a doctor like you … but only for unicorns and fairies.”

 

Dr. Andrew Mower

Dr. Andrew Mower, neurologist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: “I don’t eat apples, doctor.”

“Why?”

“Because they keep the doctor away, and I like you, Dr. Mower.”

 

Dr. Laura Totaro

Dr. Laura Totaro, hospitalist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: I was examining the mouth of my patient when he proudly showed me his loose tooth and whispered to me that his family had a secret. He then excitedly admitted that his mom was the tooth fairy!  His mother looked at me quizzically and then burst out laughing when she realized what had taken place. Earlier she had admitted to him that she played the role of tooth fairy at home but her son took this quite literally and believed it to actually be her secret full time job for all children.

 

Dr. Mustafa Kabeer

Dr. Mustafa Kabeer, general and thoracic surgeon

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: A patient asked me what my first name was, and I told him it was Mustafa. He then promptly told me that was the name of his pet lizard!

 

Dr. Sharief Taraman

Dr. Sharief Taraman, neurology

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: One of my patients told me that I look like the character Flint Lockwood from Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs and another one thinks I look like the character Linguini from the movie Ratatouille, both of which I found very funny.  Apparently, I give off the nerdy guy vibe.

Meet Dr. Mary Jane Piroutek

CHOC Children’s wants its reffering physicians to get to know its specialists. Today, meet Dr. Mary Jane Piroutek, a pediatric emergency medicine specialist.

CHOC Children's

Q: What is your education and training?

A:  I graduated from the University of California, Irvine School of Medicine. I completed my pediatric residency at CHOC Children’s and my pediatric emergency medicine fellowship at Loma Linda University Medical Center.

Q: What are your administrative appointments?

A:  I hold the academic appointment of assistant professor, Department of Emergency Medicine at Loma Linda University.

Q: What are your special clinical interests?

A:  I am especially interested in pediatric trauma, environmental injuries, and endocrine emergencies.

Q: How long have you been on staff at CHOC?

A:  I have been on staff for five years.

Q: What are some new programs or developments within your specialty?

A:  CHOC’s emergency department became a level II pediatric trauma center in 2015. We are the only trauma center in Orange County dedicated exclusively to kids. Or trauma team consists of physicians, nurses, pharmacists, radiology technicians, respiratory therapists, social workers, child life, and a hospital chaplain.

Q: What are your most common diagnoses?

A:  Abdominal pain (from gastroenteritis to appendicitis), seizures, traumatic injuries (lacerations, closed head injuries, fractured arms and legs), and respiratory illnesses (bronchiolitis, asthma, and pneumonia).

Q: What would you most like patients and families to know about you or your division at CHOC?

A:  At CHOC, our emergency department is staffed with fellowship-trained pediatric emergency medicine specialists. Our dual training makes us especially knowledgeable and skilled in caring for your child during their visit. CHOC Children’s is the only emergency department in Orange County that exclusively treats children. Treating children in an environment created especially for them makes what could be a scary experience into something more enjoyable.

Q:  What inspires you most about the care being delivered here at CHOC? 

A:  CHOC delivers the highest level of pediatric care while embracing and caring for the entire family.

Q: Why did you decide to become a doctor? 

A:  In high school I volunteered in a community hospital in the labor and delivery unit. I really enjoyed being part of a family’s joyous occasion. In college I volunteered in the emergency department and marveled at the fast pace, acuity and unpredictably of what the next patient’s case would bring. My academic love for science and solving problems made becoming a physician a very natural fit.

Q: If you weren’t a physician, what would you be and why?

A:  I honestly don’t know. Once I decided that I wanted to be a doctor, I never really considered anything else. I put all of my energy and focus into medicine.

Q: What are your hobbies/interests outside of work?

A:  I like spending time with family and friends and traveling. I am also an avid Anaheim Ducks hockey fan.

Q: What have you learned from your patients? 

A:  Children are brave and have a remarkable capacity for resilience. This is evident in the child that sustains a broken leg playing soccer and is unafraid and eager to play again. Or the teenage cancer patient that is most concerned about how their family is being affected by and is dealing with their illness. My patients are humbling and help me to be a better person.

Q: What was the funniest thing a patient told you?

A:  Kids say funny things all the time. One of my favorites was a little 4 year old girl that had ingested coins and they were stuck in her esophagus. When I asked her what happened she shrugged her shoulder and with a mischievous look in her eyes said, “I ate the money, I’m not supposed to eat the money.”  Also recently a patient told me I looked like Snow White (which I don’t) and she called me Dr. Snow White the whole time I took care of her.