Patients Say the Darndest Things – Happy Doctor’s Day!

In celebration of Doctor’s Day, we asked a few of our physicians what’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

Dr. Mary Jane Piroutek

Dr. Mary Jane Piroutek, emergency medicine specialist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A:  Kids say funny things all the time. One of my favorites was a little 4 -year-old girl who had ingested coins and they were stuck in her esophagus. When I asked her what happened she shrugged her shoulder and with a mischievous look in her eyes said, “I ate the money, I’m not supposed to eat the money.”  Also recently a patient told me I looked like Snow White (which I don’t) and she called me Dr. Snow White the whole time I took care of her.

 

Dr. Gary Goodman

Dr. Gary Goodman, medical director, pediatric intensive care unit, CHOC Children’s at Mission Hospital

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: Just recently, I had a patient, who has a mild developmental delay, call me “the boy.”  I would stop in the patient’s room each morning, at which point I’d get asked, “What do YOU want?”

 

Dr. Kenneth Kwon

Dr. Kenneth Kwon, emergency medicine specialist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: An adage in pediatric emergency care is when a child comes in with a nosebleed, you don’t ask if he picks his nose, you ask him which finger he uses. When I asked this question to one of my pint-sized patients, he answered that he used all of them, and then proceeded to demonstrate by sticking each of his 10 fingers in his nose individually. It was priceless.

 

Dr. Maryam Gholizadeh

Dr. Maryam Gholizadeh, general and thoracic surgeon

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: There was a young child around 8-9 years old and we were going to remove his appendix with laparoscopy. I was standing on his left side because with laparoscopy we make our incision on the left side. Just before he went to sleep he looked up at me and said, “Why are you standing on my left? My appendix is on the right.” I was amazed at how knowledgeable this kid was!

 

Dr. Jennifer Ho

Dr. Jennifer Ho, hospitalist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: “I want to be a doctor like you … but only for unicorns and fairies.”

 

Dr. Andrew Mower

Dr. Andrew Mower, neurologist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: “I don’t eat apples, doctor.”

“Why?”

“Because they keep the doctor away, and I like you, Dr. Mower.”

 

Dr. Laura Totaro

Dr. Laura Totaro, hospitalist

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: I was examining the mouth of my patient when he proudly showed me his loose tooth and whispered to me that his family had a secret. He then excitedly admitted that his mom was the tooth fairy!  His mother looked at me quizzically and then burst out laughing when she realized what had taken place. Earlier she had admitted to him that she played the role of tooth fairy at home but her son took this quite literally and believed it to actually be her secret full time job for all children.

 

Dr. Mustafa Kabeer

Dr. Mustafa Kabeer, general and thoracic surgeon

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: A patient asked me what my first name was, and I told him it was Mustafa. He then promptly told me that was the name of his pet lizard!

 

Dr. Sharief Taraman

Dr. Sharief Taraman, neurology

Q: What’s the funniest thing a patient has ever told you?

A: One of my patients told me that I look like the character Flint Lockwood from Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs and another one thinks I look like the character Linguini from the movie Ratatouille, both of which I found very funny.  Apparently, I give off the nerdy guy vibe.

Know the Risks of Sunken Chest

Pectus excavatum, or sunken chest, is the most common congenital chest wall abnormality in children. Although some medical providers may think that the abnormality is purely a cosmetic problem, the limited chest cavity space can displace the heart as well as limit lung capacity, says Dr. Mustafa Kabeer, a pediatric surgeon at CHOC Children’s. Fifteen percent of patients can experience arrhythmia or mitral valve regurgitation, wherein the heart valves allow blood to leak back into the heart, as a result of the inward compression from the sternum.

Dr. Mustafa Kabeer, pediatric surgeon at CHOC Children’s
Dr. Mustafa Kabeer, pediatric surgeon at CHOC Children’s

Although the cause is unknown, 40 percent of patients report a family history of pectus excavatum, and 40 percent of cases occur in tandem with scoliosis, says Dr. Kabeer.

Parents may notice an indentation in their child’s chest wall either when they are first born, or closer to puberty, when changes in the chest wall can become more pronounced.

Dr. Kabeer urges medical providers to carefully evaluate symptoms, as they can be subtle and often go unnoticed. If a patient is older than 10 years with pectus deformities, he asks medical providers to look for signs of shortness of breath, difficulty breathing during exercise, unexplained dizziness, occasional chest pain or progressing changes in chest wall appearance.  Some patients notice they are not able to keep up with their peers. If they show even mild symptoms that were not previously recognized, they should be referred to the pectus excavatum team at CHOC, he explains.

The multidisciplinary team is comprised of experts in pediatric pulmonology, cardiology and surgery. The team performs various testing to examine heart and lung function, before and after surgery that expands the chest wall. By using the latest techniques in minimally invasive surgery that dramatically reduces the appearance of incisions, along with recent improvements in pain management, patients are able to return home and get back to their daily activities sooner than ever before.

“We have a comprehensive team ready to evaluate these patients because chances are high that they have some compromise on the cardiopulmonary system given the compression of the sternum. This is not generally noticeable until they are in some kind of increased activity at which point the increased demand from the body has difficulty being met by the heart and lungs,” Dr. Kabeer says.

“These patients should be referred to pediatric surgeons because we are trained in the minimally invasive procedure and should be the first line approach to this problem; there is no need to put a child through a more invasive operation that is not needed,” he adds.

Dr. Kabeer recommends the following referral guidelines:

  • Age < 10 years can be monitored and symptoms and severity of deformity based only on exam should be logged. No studies are necessary at this time unless symptoms are severe at which point, they should be referred to the pectus excavatum team at CHOC, but workup is not necessary prior to referral.
  • Age >10 years with very mild pectus deformities and with no symptoms can be referred or observed.
  • Age >10 years with pectus deformities that are moderate or severe with or without symptoms and mild deformity with symptoms should be referred to the pectus excavatum team at CHOC. No imaging or workup is necessary until seen by the pediatric surgeon.

To contact Dr. Kabeer, or to refer a patient, please call 714-364-4050.

Learn more about CHOC’s surgical services.